Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
