So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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