I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
