i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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