I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
