Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.