Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate