I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants