I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You're earring is so big in my mouth
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
