So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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