wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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