I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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