dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
