it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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