i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
