Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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