If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
