I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
