And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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