Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
