I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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