bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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