I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are going to name an STD after you.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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