How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
