i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
