My friends, they love my intelligence
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize