Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
