IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
