Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize