I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
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