Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
