you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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