I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
