I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize