i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
