I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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