If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
