dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
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This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
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