I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Text me some of your sweat
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
