i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
