he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.