My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
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he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
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I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.