can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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