you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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