Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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