I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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