i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
