I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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