He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
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