My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Do vagina's smell?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
