Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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