She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize