sarcasm needs its own font
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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