Got a toothbrush?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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