Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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