I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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