we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
