then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
