Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
