i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize