it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Two words: blizzard sex
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
