love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
