absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
someone owes me an orgasm
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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