We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
